Motherhood

God thank you for giving me Micah, I know there are times where things are challenging but I love him, lately its been hard, I feel as though I am failing him, I feel as though I am screaming for help and encouragement and the only person that hears me is you, I don't like feeling like i am the one who is needing to be fixed, But I know that in order for there to be peace and serenity, it needs to happen, So Father i know you entrusted him in my care, i know you wouldn't give me something I can't handle, So father through these trying years I ask Father that you would just equip me with the right tools and things I need to do, to become a better Mother, I know its in me to do that, When he has down days i want to shut myself off from him, I want to just push him away, But I know that is not what you want from me, I know I make mistakes and I am not perfect, I know that if every mistake you would do that, I wouldn't be able to function or exist, So GOD please I ask and pray that you would just help me to not do that, And when he makes mistakes help me to love him through that, and Just be there to help guide and instruct him with love and just show him you, I am sorry for hurting him, I am sorry for allowing my flesh and physical aspect get in the way of the love you want me to have for him, I pray Father you would just give me this ultimate peace to be the Mother you have called me to be, I know that I can, give me the courage and the strength to get through this..I want my heart to be open and willing to do any changing that needs to take place! Forgive me father for allowing my selfishness to get in the way, for allowing my desires and not yours for me, Help me GOD to learn to lean and trust in you all the days of my life and I want to hand my control back to you! Thank You GOD for listening and loving me, and not pushing me away but loving me even more!