Anxiety is terrible but with God I am an Overcomer

   For along time as far as back as I can remember I have always had anxiety. Never really got help, thought that I was too weak and that I could handle and control it.

I however apparently didn't do a good enough job of it. Some of you who don't suffer from it awesomeness. But I really didn't have it that bad up till recently. We had followed what we thought was God's leading to Texas to be Youth Pastor's to an amazing church whom I miss to this very day.

Leading up to that point ya my anxiety was at an all time high reasons are:

• Our place never sold
• Riding in a Budget Truck for over 20+ hours with two dogs, Micah and no room to spare.
• Leaving what was comfortable and routine to somewhere we have never been. Giving up our jobs, families, church, school, friends...You name it.
• Getting settled in a different place, trying to figure out where things were and getting used to the life styles there.

I thought it was normal to feel like that. But I did realize when things happened with others it got worse, and didn't have health insurance and couldn't afford the meds. NO free clinics.

What happened to cause it to REALLY raise high. We attended a Youth Camp with some of the youth and some of the students were not happy with the accommodations or the staff. We tried to make it less stressful as we could but we were doing something right.

It got back to the parents and pretty much in their eyes we weren't fit to be youth pastors. There had been talk that we were brought down to soon. We had grown attached to the students and the families there. Finding out that after only 10 months of being there that it wasn't working out and we had to move back.

Add MORE anxiety and stress. So we packed up and we were on our way back. But the thing was we couldn't move right back into our old place because of the damage and destruction that had taken place with residents that were living here. NO they didn't pay a deposit. BIG MISTAKE my sweet sister and her family put us up for however long we needed. THEY didn't complain it was nice that we were there.

MORE anxiety and stress. But we finally got our home back. I am not proud of this. But while in Texas beings I tried to get jobs NOT one hired me so we were pretty much pinching pennies and trying to make our living some what accessible. So I applied for the benefits and apparently I had made a goof up and it took them a YEAR to get into contact with me.

So a DHS investigator said I lied on my phone interview and on the application. Of course I go into panic mode and had asked if I was going to JAIL. Of course she wasn't going to say anything. She just said I can't tell you that. So then BAM!!!!!!! My ANXIETY(fear) decided to hold me prisoner for over a year.

But I went to see a specialist and for awhile I was pretty much trying to read as much scripture, encouraging things on FB to try and find some reassurance NOTHING seemed to be working. Even after being told numerous times that IT WASN'T going to happen.

Skip to present day:
I look back and YES I was a mess, I am still trying to overcome this part of my life. My friends have been a big support for me and have always been there trying to help me move forward. My husband has been such a trooper and I am super happy that he's stuck by me. My relationship with God has gone to a whole new level. Still trying to get more closer. Sometimes there are distractions but I know that God is always there. HE'S what has gotten me through my darkest moments.

I have some new verses that I love now. Isaiah 43:18
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. 19) I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.

This verse had gotten me through a lot during that time.
Romans 8:28
I am assured that ALL things are working together for my good.

Psalm 36:7
How priceless is your unfailing love, OH GOD!!!!! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings.

That's just a few of the verses there are others that I have written down. But God has been through my deepest moments, HE foresaw this and yet he still remained by my side each moment.

The Footprints in the sand is what gets me every time. Because it hits home to me.
I just want to leave you with this. WE all have our issues and things we need to overcome. Just know YOU don't have to do it alone. You have GOD. Also get a mentor or accountability partner they will be there to encourage with you and pray with you.

God bless. I hope this has touched you some how and maybe you can share with your friends. God is all powerful and Almighty. His promises are yes and amen. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE NOR FORSAKE you.