Sacrifices

Lord is this what you felt like when you sacrificed yourself for me and others? Because its hurting me so badly, Why does this hurt so much? What is your trying to do in me? I just want to be one with you, i want to have a heart more like yours, I don't want to focus on the things around me that is taking me from you, I want to live for you, i want to remain in your arms and under your will, I don't want the things of this world to take from me what you have instilled in me, I want to know that my desires you have instilled in me are in your care, I don't want to deal with it anymore, i want to hand it over to you, Knowing that you know what your doing, HELP ME TO TRUST!!! not only you, but others, I want that so bad, I want my friendships to feel secure and not have anything to worry about. I want to know that those you put in my life are there as an encourager and not a downer I want to be free from this, I don't want to focus on the things I can't control, i want to hand them over to you, i want my life to be a reflection of who you are and what your doing in my life. I want to show others that I can give things over for you, that I can have my whole heart open to you, and that your will for me is good, that My will isn't for me, but its what you have in store for me, I want to feel peaceful and have a sense of joy and happiness! i want to be fully dependant on your love and mercy for me! i love that your always there, when I HAVE NO ONE ELSE that I can always turn to you! and you haven't left me for one sec!