Emotions

My partner in crime.

Why do we always let our emotions get the best of us? Why can't we just go on with life without all the emotional baggage that we tend to carry around with us?

That is a great question. I know that God wired us all differently when we handle certain situations and how we go about expressing ourselves is another thing.

So with what is going on with Dale and his arm injury, it has taken a toll on me. He feels worthless, like he's a burden. I keep reminding him that HE'S not one. That this is what God would have wanted me to do. 

So I tend to try and keep everything all together, and pretend that everything is fine. But in the long run it's not. I am human and I make plenty of mistakes. My poor best friend. I can't believe she's still with me. If I were her and I would have left me a long time ago. But she hasn't not yet.

I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting to mess up one more time then BAM!!! No more, because she can't handle my stress. I am trying to learn to compartmentalize things. 

You ask HOW AM I DOING on that? I would say FAIL, FAIL, FAIL every time.

I am also thankful for new friendships, she's a sweet one. We have only known each other less than a month. She too is there for me as well. Feels weird but great at the same time.

Learning to branch out and trust others that don't nothing about me and my past, emotional drama. There are like a certain few I can be myself around. Some others tend to judge me based on my weirdness. BAHAHAH.

But with that being said. Our emotions are OK, but we can't just sit in them and wallow when we feel discouraged, rejected, depressed, hurt or even angry. We need to learn to look up to the one who knows our heart the most.

He is the one who can bring the closeness, healing and comforts to us. ME INCLUDED. I am saying this for myself. Because I tend to have more and more emotional breakdowns. Trying to I guess do things on my own strength and not realizing that God hasn't gone anywhere, HE'S just waiting for me to HAND over the reigns once again to him.

I lost count on how many times I am having to hand them over. I just know HE'S not once left me, WITH my flaws and all. He loves me so much that he's going to be there, holding me till I can be put down and walk and he walk besides me. 

In his eyes, I am flawless, I am worthy of his love, I blameless, I am free from all the condemnation, judgment and rejection. Yes its good to have fellowship with others. But lately I am trying to protect my heart. God is the one that can fill any void I may have. I long to be accepted. That I tend to compare myself with others and their journey toward a great friendship, then I get jealous when I thought we were close then I see them growing closer. 

Something I dislike very much. MY MIND tends to play games, tries to convince me otherwise that I am better off alone.

God you are faithful beyond words, You are ALWAYS there for me, taking care and providing for our needs. I am so thankful for an amazing father who tends to his sheep.

Lord beyond my flaws, I am asking that you make me more and more like you. Help my emotions to be in tact, Help me to know fully and clearly that YOU are SOVEREIGN and that with YOU I CAN DO ALL THINGS. 

Psalms 91

You have me hidden under your wings, You are protecting me and watching over me. Nothing can come near when I am under your protection.

You are amazing, 

Jesus is going to be getting the REIGNS back AGaIN.