Disconnected

Lately I have been feeling so disconnected from people,from life and most of all from GOD, I don't know what it is, I just feel as though, i am going on auto pilot and I am just going with the motions, and all the while, i am just seeing things flash before me! GOD is this a test, are you taking me thru another season in my life? I know that it was coming and I knew things were starting to shift, i just didn't realize it was going to happen this quickly, Father I don't know whats going on, I feel as though I am not as close to as i would like to be, Is that because Your taking me thru another season in you? I don't want to be away from you, you have been my only #1 constant in my life, your the only one who has kept me safe and sane, Father with out you I can do nothing, Without you I am nothing, SO I ask, What is going on? Why Am I feeling this way? I am sorry if I had put things ahead of you, or allowed my life and busyness get in the way, I want to be closer to you, i want to have a one on one time with you, I miss our times together, I miss feeling you next to me, I miss your heart beating! I miss sensing you day in and day out! Please don't leave me, I know that you wouldn't you promised me that you wouldn't! Why am i feeling this sense of over whelming take place? I am so anxious and nervous about unneccessary things, And I can't for the life of me shake this feeling, So please I ask you to shed some light on this, Because I am tired of not knowing whats happening, I know that Its al in your hands, and that you have it in control, I am trusting you with all that I am and all that I have!!! Theres days that I don't even feel like me some days! Its like I am just going with the emotions, I don't want to live another day with out your security and knowing that your my life and my salvation! I miss you Jesus, Father GOD Daddy! you have helped me so much these past few weeks, you have stretched me and taught me that things are going to work out if i were to trust you, WEll I am trusting you all the way, WHY should I have to carry on alone, When you want to take my worries,frustrations, anxieties and just carry them off of me! I release this all to you this time and day! I don't want ot feel disconnected from you anymore! I want to sense you, feel you, Love hearing you talk to me! your my best friend! I don't know what I would do with out you! you get me, and understand me, I am tired of trying to prove to others I am worthy enough to be a part of there crowd and group, I know that you already have! I am no longer going to concern myself with people like that anymore, Its you and me all the way Jesus! My heart and soul cries out and belongs to you! Show me a way to love others the way you want me to, Show me love thru you the way you see me! I want to live for you and I want to die with self! I know its not easy and I know its painful, but GOD your pruning me and getting me ready! I love you Jesus, Your my sweet best friend! I will never be ashamed to proclaim it! you have done so much for us, Why would i? Hear my heart cry! Hear me tel you over and over that I can't live with out you, i can't breathe with out you, My soul is ever thirsty and hungry for more and more! I want my cup to fill and fill and runneth over! Please wrap your arms around me and never ever let me go!