Do you ever have the feeling that your being judged by others? Or feeling small?
Well I have, and still am. Its like no matter how hard I try to be myself, I am ridiculed or judged on how I am doing things. I believe I am old enough to make my own decisions, I am not stupid, so stop treating me like I am. I am not perfect and sometimes I may say or do things that I don't mean to. YES, I may from time to time stick my foot in my mouth (not literally speaking). I tried to apologize and you making me feel smaller than I already am, ISN'T helping. I already don't feel like I have a place in the ministry and having someone tell me what to do, or having others making me feel more like crap isn't helping either. I know I have a long ways to go in changing, but I am not going to change over night. Can't wait to have just a moment to myself where I can let God in and just let him love on me, I thought church was supposed to be a safe place. I feel as though its a place of cliques, favortisms and ignorance. I sometimes feel discouraged, wondering if I am even supposed to be in the ministry I am in. I just don't know where I belong anymore! God please speak to my hurt heart and just give me wisdom in the next step of my life.
